5:00 Fridays

Mac Daddy has a dry wit and thrives on sarcasm. In fact, he doesn't think I'm funny at all since I go for the obvious "that's what she said" kind of joke or stupid pun. I personally think I am hysterical; it pays to be one's own best audience. Plus, my friend Shelly pegged it when she surmised that Mac Daddy has a severe case of funny envy.

He cracks out the humor every time we're at the grocery store in summer. He takes one look at the melon display, and I know some wisecrack is coming. "Nice melons," he remarks. "Firm. I can palm this one." And so on. I offer up the gratuitous laughter. Hardy har har har. It would be funnier if he weren't an ass man. Anyway, the melon joke is one that never gets old. I suppose it's his version of "that's what he said."

Summer is a melon joke teller's stage of glory. A vertitable tata tea party. Melon is an anagram of lemon. Surely there's a joke in there somewhere, right? We've had our share of juicy Sun Jewel melons from Farmer Tom of CSA fame this year. I also recently tried a fantastic summer libation at one of my favorite joints, The Oxford Gastro Pub. If they ever take the fried panko off the menu I'm not coming back.

To celebrate a summer of melon lovin' (no matter how you look at it), I present to you...drumroll, please...

The Melontini

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Pour in a shot of Absolut vodka, a shot of Midori, an ounce of pineapple juice, a splash of sour mix, and a drizzle of triple sec. Shake well. Pour into a martini glass. Garnish with a slice of fancy melon like Santa Claus melon or Sun Jewel.

Just make sure you get a manicure and fun cocktail ring before photographing yourself holding one of these cocktails. And by the way, vorsicht! A couple of these will be real knockers!

5:00 Fridays

It's the unofficial beginning of summer, folks! The time of year those of us who grew up in the 80s daydream of Matt Dillon bringing us drinks and turning our chairs towards the sun a la Jeffrey Willis in The Flamingo Kid. Boy could he rock the white pants. Hubba Hubba.

Summer is the heyday for ice cream, though I happen to think ice cream is a seasonless treat. Even all those nipple freezing years in Minnesota didn't keep me from indulging in some Jamocha Almond Fudge or a waffle cone of some heavenly flavor concoction from Grand Ole Creamery.

And so today let's welcome summer, the season of sandals and I'm Not Really a Waitress toes...and 3 1/2 months of my kids out of school. And you wonder what drives me to drink...


Some n' Summer

1/2 cup pulp free orange juice

2 scoops vanilla ice cream

1 shot Frangelico
1 shot Stoli Vanil

Blend everything in a blender. Serve in a tall glass with a fancy straw and an orange wedge stuck into a frilly paper umbrella for garnish.

Orange you glad I'm serving up some shake with those hips?

5:00 Fridays

When I lived in Minnesota there was nothing better than downing a hot sake after a nipple numbing walk from the car to the restaurant. Now that spring is on my doorstep (I just know it is!), I want to find some new ways to enjoy sake, one of my faves from the days of yore.
I've been playing around a bit and wanted to share my latest concoction. It's a mighty fine tasty treat when a gentle breeze is warming your teat.

Sake It To Me

6 slices of peeled cucumber
Juice of half a lime
Handful of fresh mint
1 1/2 teaspoons simple syrup
Ice
2 ounces dry sake

Whip up some simple syrup. Here's how:

Combine 1 cup of white sugar with 1 cup of water. Bring to a boil and stir until the sugar has dissolved. Cool.

When the simple syrup is cooled, put 5 slices of cucumber, lime juice, mint, and simple syrup to an old fashioned glass (also know as a lowball or rocks glass). Muddle it all together against the glass with the back of a spoon or muddler. Admittedly, the muddler resembles some sort of kitchen sex toy, but I digress. Now add a handful of ice to a cocktail shaker. Pour the sake and cucumber/lime/mint mixture over the ice. Shake until it's ice-fleck-Minnesota-nipple-freeze cold. Strain into a chilled wine glass. Garnish with a cucumber slice.

And order sushi in tonight. There's no time to cook while you're busy sipping one of these.

5:00 Fridays

I am beckoning summer. In fact, I am perched upon my knees, hands clasped, face turned upward looking solemn, and pleading for summer's grace. Summer's sun seems to be a newbie in the witness protection program, her blue skies and warm breeze taken hostage by the rains and lords of thunder. And so here I kneel, summoning summer the best way I know how...

With a toast! Here's to summer, its warmth, light, smells of freshly cut grass and seared tenderloin on the grill, sounds of glasses clinking, children squealing, sprinklers spraying. Here's to summer's sundresses, red nail polish pedicures, flip flops, lazy days, endless adventures, road trips, Jimmy Buffett tunes, hammock swinging, barefoot romping, sweet tea, lemonade, smores, picnic baskets, hand cranked ice cream.

Here's to fireflies.

Now fill a tall glass with ice. Fill halfway with Firely Sweet Tea vodka. Finish off with lemonade (homemade if you're feeling ambitious, which is what I'm certain Jennifer would do). Garnish with a couple raspberries and a sprig of mint. Aw, go ahead and just fix yourself a pitcher. Then phone a friend to help you wile away the afternoon...evening...night...weekend.

5:00 Fridays

The matriarch at Chez Dirt & Noise would like to introduce a new weekly post: 5:00 Fridays!

I don't know about you, but a refreshing cocktail at the end of a long week is just the ticket to paradise I need. Even when I worked full-time (in an office, as opposed to the more-than-full-time activities of being a mom), I loved Friday happy hours with my coworkers. We toasted some positively deadly Long Island Iced Teas and fruity concoctions served in fish bowls with multiple straws. Those happy hours inevitably turned into some rug cuttin' long nights...and even even longer hangovers.

Happy hour is much tamer these days. There's no room for hangovers in our lives anymore, but that doesn't mean we can't sip a tasty treat time to time.

Without further ado, drum roll, please.....

Introducing what we like to call our family's signature drink: the Moscow Mule.

It's traditionally served in a copper cup, but unless you live in Colonial Williamsburg, I'm guessing you didn't get a set from your wedding registry. Nonetheless, we just use a highball glass here. Trust me, it's just as tasty.

2 ounces vodka (not the cheap stuff you drank in college, pony up for Absolut at the least)
1 ounce freshly-squeezed lime juice (and NEVER Rose's! Only the fresh stuff, this is key.)
4 ounces good, spicy ginger ale (like Blenheim's) or ginger beer (NEVER EVER substitute ginger ale. That would make a crummy, wimpy Moscow Mule.)

Add ice and the ingredients in the specified order. Stir and garnish with a lime wedge.

Mmmmm....it's only 8:00 AM, but my taste buds are dancing a jig just thinking about 5:00. It's going to be 100 degrees here today so an icy, spicy, limey cocktail will be just what the mixologist ordered.

So what about you? What are your favorite summer cocktails? If you send me the recipe, I just might test it out and post it next week.

Cheers!


PS
The fine minds at Momocrats have concocted a drink in honor of all the Obama Mamas out there. Add it to your happy hour round. Check it out here.