Baring Claws

Here's a snippet of John Dickerson's article on slate.com entitled "Obama Wins Split Decision." You can read the whole article here. Dickerson's words are far better than the rant I was conjuring up.

"When Hillary Clinton questioned Gen. David Petraeus last September, she famously said that to believe his description of progress in Iraq required "a willing suspension of disbelief." After the Indiana and North Carolina primaries, the same may now be true about her case for winning the Democratic nomination. It's not that she can't win, but with only 217 delegates up for grabs in the six remaining contests, the scenario for victory has become more fantastical, narrow, and painful.

Clinton won Indiana, but, as she pointed out repeatedly to Petraeus, individual victories—even a surge of them in Ohio, Texas, and Pennsylvania—don't change the whole story. The larger reality still holds. Barack Obama has the lead in elected delegates and the popular vote. Those leads increased Tuesday as he widened his margin by 15 delegates and roughly 200,000 more votes. For Clinton to move ahead in those numbers now, she must bring more states into the union."

It seems to me that Hillary is trying to claw her way to the top of a scratching post that has lost its carpeted sheath. This makes it even more evident to me that she's in this race for herself. To outdo her personal best. A mere check mark on her life's oneupmanship to-do list. I'm not seeing any gumption for the people, the issues, the paradigm shift that our country so desperately needs. After Hillary's plea for money in her Indiana victory speech last night, she just seemed pathetic. Hanging on to the shred of carpet that was worn off ages ago.

By the way, I am indeed on a first name basis with Hillary. She branded herself that way to seem more accessible and open. As with all brands, the promise must deliver. It didn't.

Now don't get me wrong. I started out a Hillary supporter. My family has a long love affair with the Clintons. When my mom shook Bill's hand at a book signing she called me and vowed to never wash her hand again. I too met Bill, sax in hand, when I was in college and first getting involved in and excited about politics. We all defended Hillary's universal health care proposal and thought she was not given a fair shake. We dissed the men who were so obviously threatened by her, for she is a woman who is undoubtedly bright, fierce, distinguished, and tenacious.

What tugged at my doubt in this campaign were the elements of warmth, empathy, passion, and earnestness that were clearly missing from her long list of values and attributes. I found myself supporting Hillary because she is a woman. And only because it would be amazingly cool and empowering to have a woman in the Oval Office who is not serving (or servicing, a la Monica) the President. I found myself moved emotionally, and into action even, when I learned more about Obama. He made me hungry to learn more and motivated to do more. That's when I shifted my allegiance. Simply having the X chromosome wasn't enough. I wish it were, for I still hope to see the day a woman rules this country.

But for now, let's just sew up the oozing abdominal wound in the Democratic party and move on. Let Hillary exit with grace and dignity. And a standing ovation for her efforts. But please, pass the baton to Obama, and let's kick McCain's war monger ass.

Yes We Can!

Here we are ready to vote. This is the first time in 20 years that North Carolina has had a voice in the Democratic primary presidential nomination. I am so proud to cast my vote today. Man, I love voting.

Game on, Hillary.

Thank God for TV

Tonight before dinner Bird wanted to say a prayer that he made up all by himself. Apparently he was quite proud of his masterpiece because he's been reminding me all day that he's going to say a prayer instead of our traditional thank-yous before dinner. I even caught him whispering something that sounded an awful lot like a prayer in the car this morning, and I wasn't even speeding, swerving, or cussing like I normally do when monogrammed minivans and W stickers are present.

Sidebar: WTF is up with the preppy swirly pink monogram on your VEHICLE?! Muffy and Biff, I have seen it all. Now I must go fix myself a bloody mary to deal with this prepdom. Spicy with Absolut Peppar, natch.

I'm not sure where Bird's gush for God came from but I honored his wishes. Here's what he said at the table tonight with hands clasped, Deal diligently and earnestly repeating every word. And me, I was trying not to snicker while feeling touched and humbled at the same time.

In Bird's words:

"Thank you, God, for our dinner. For our broccoli.
Thank you for trees. And nature.
Thank you, God, for making everything.
Oh, and stumps.
Thank you for our bones.
Thank you for all of us.
Thank you for potties and for playing outside.
Thank you, God, for books.
Thank you for toys and treats.
And thank you for TV.
Amen."

I am pretty sure I have the only kid in America, perhaps this hemisphere, who includes broccoli in his prayers. Both Bird and Deal clamor for it in the produce aisle, making me proud yet wince with a bit of embarrassment lest people think I deprive my children of tasty, preservative-laden treats and other delicacies that reek of childhood. I presume the stumps he refers to are tree stumps since we don't know any amputees. Perhaps we've been reading the Giving Tree a bit too often. I am glad he separated potties, trees, nature, and playing outside. I am working on convincing Bird and Deal that just because nature calls while they're playing outside near a tree, it doesn't mean they shouldn't march the six steps into the house to pee in the newly renovated bathroom we paid good money for. Let's not take indoor plumbing for granted, boys. My favorite is the last nod to God about TV. Bird has not earned a television time reward for a few days now. I suppose his voice did have a lilt of nostalgia and yearning for the ol' Sony Wega.

About 5000 Messages a DAY Trying to Sell You Something

Guess what Mac Daddy, Bird, and Deal are doing right now? I will bet you all the lovely, strappy, citrus hued shoes in the Nordstrom's shoe department that you won't guess correctly.

Spending quality time with Moose A. Moose?
Making pink pancakes?
Cleaning up pee from the floor?
Beating each other with helium balloons?

Nope. Not that they haven't already done all those things this morning.

Mac Daddy, Bird, and Deal are watching American Idol. David Archuleta has entranced them at the moment. Deal does not even like television, yet the magic of American Idol has its glitzy showbiz grip on my son. My 2 1/2-year old son. You know what he just said? "I wish I could be that boy." Gulp. Do I have a Clay Aiken on my hands? Should I get him an agent so he can dazzle audiences on the Mickey Mouse Club? What the #@*!

So from where did this stem? This American Idol curiosity. Oddity, even.

McDonald's. As in the hamburger joint. You know the one. Of Happy Meal fame.

The boys got American Idol toys in their Happy Meals recently. Oh, please. Like you don't indulge your kids with crap to stuff their little faces with from time to time. The innocent Hershey's Kiss doled out to pottying toddlers or a Cinnabon to give in to the senses at the mall? Don't judge me for patronizing McDonald's. It's not like my guys eat fries and drink Dr. Pepper. They get the apples (no caramel dip) and milk (white). Trust me, the kids at Dirt & Noise eat quite well, even for grown up standards.

Bird and Deal were rockin' out to the American Idol happy meal dudes they scored. They made a pretend stage and had a rock concert. Then the questions started. All from a logo. Preschoolers know what logos are! Granted, their mother (that would be me, and I enjoy referring to myself in the third person time to time) works as a marketing consultant. Words and concepts like logo, brand, and consumer are already implanted into my children's psyche.

Sidebar: I'm willing to bet that Bird and Deal understand branding better than most adults who think a brand is simply a logo. Maddening, it is! I suppose all the banter about end caps, shelf talkers, and EDLP in the grocery aisles is paying off.

Bird and Deal wanted to know all about American Idol, which of course included wanting to watch it. Since they go to bed at 7:15 it was out of the question. "What about DVR"" asked Bird. OMG. The things they learn and know at this age astound me. And so here we are watching American Idol on a Sunday morning. And here are my boys latching on to David Archuleta. Perhaps because they can sense he is a youngin to whom they can relate.

And this brings me (finally!) to the issue at hand - marketing to children. McDonald's usually has Happy Meal toys that advertise movies that the Happy Meal Set cannot even watch. I'm pretty sure that rated PG kids aren't satiated by one meager burger and apples. Pirates of the Caribbean for three-year olds. Really? Spiderwick Chronicles for America's four-year olds? What, do we want to invite nightmares into our late night slumber? Why promote movies that are inappropriate to the audience? It sure makes life harder for us parents. I love the grocery check out lines that are labeled "No candy." As if teaching graciousness and thankfulness isn't difficult enough.

Bird and Deal mostly watch commercial-free television, but that doesn't mean they aren't subjected to and exposed to other forms of advertising. Now remember, planting messages into people's heads is my livelihood. The irony is that I want to protect my children from it. Selling high fructose corn syrup snacks (especially under the guise of being GOOD FOR YOU!) and skater dude video games to little kids is not OK. I know that kids influence many, many purchasing decisions in the household. And many, many parents succumb. I just wish that everyone, people like me included, would think about the bigger picture and promote positive images and products to our youth.

I'm not suggesting that parents are to be absolved of responsibility or that we should not indulge our children. Could we just be more mindful of the effects of what we are selling to our children? Little girls don't need Bratz dolls. They will face a long road of body image and confidence struggles without those hoochie dolls sexing them up at a tender age. Boys don't need to develop skater dude too-cool-for-school attitudes in preschool. Once lost, innocence cannot be found. Unlike happiness, innocence is a destination. Once you've been there you cannot leave, and it follows you everywhere.

Let us diminish the ill effects of marketing to kids and replace those messages with positive ones. American Idol is innocent enough. Rated G merchandising is innocent enough. I don't have a problem with the likes of Nemo or Curious George making their way into our toy boxes. I can even handle American Idol. There's a clear demarcation in my household because Mac Daddy and I drew the line.

Must I remind you of Joe Camel?

A Ringing Endorsement

Check this out.

Ain't technology grand?! I just downloaded ringtone #8. Call me all the time so everyone can hear Obama's voice in the hours before our North Carolina primary. We'll see if subliminal advertising really works.

And how funny is this?

Moms & Dads for Barack Obama

What I want to do is give our country an Etch-a-Sketch shake. A mulligan. A do-over.

Let's shake things up. Are you listening, North Carolina?!

May 6. This Tuesday. Vote.

I dream in shades of blue.

You know what's important to me? My kids. Their health. Their education. Their future. No shit, you say. Well, what worries me is that these basic, common needs are in jeopardy. Will healthcare be affordable, available, accessible? A medical tragedy puts even the most insured, secure families in financial turmoil. Education costs are reaching heights that are unfathomable. And let's get one thing straight, not going to a brand name college is not an option for Bird and Deal. It's cultural, not snotty. Find me an Indian family that doesn't emphasize education or collegiate cachet, admittedly to the point of kids needing some couch therapy. What will the future look like in America? Immigrant in fighting? Evangelizing in schools? The Big Bang Theory as a rated XXX video title only? Natural resources a distant memory?

As it is, I feel like Bird and Deal are inheriting a load of shit that will stink long after January 20, 2009.

This war must end. You want to see a great show of patriotism? Then bring home our soldiers. My childhood friend's husband is set to go on his second tour of duty in Iraq. He missed his daughter's birth, not to mention most of my friend's pregnancy. He met his daughter well after she could walk and speak. She's five now, and they finally have cemented a lovely father-daughter relationship. He is no longer a stranger to her from whose arms she shirks away. She runs to him. They have not told her that her daddy is leaving in two months and will be home when she's 7.

How many of us think about those little victims? Families and marriages in peril due to the sheer nature of separation. An outrage. An abomination.

Does anyone care about what we are doing to our one and only planet? I'm sick of the idiots who have parasitic ideologies and just take and take and strip and strip the earth of its resources. Who will have an eye on the future? Our legacy and our responsibility go way beyond our physical time on the planet. A neighbor once noted that the planet has been around a long time with no harm done so he doesn't see the point or necessity in all this crazy green talk now. I had to pardon myself so I could smash my fists into the wall and release some fireants onto his bicycle seat.

I have been to Calcutta and experienced air pollution so thick that my snot was as black as my hair. It was as if Chiclet sized clumps of coal were popping out of my nose. It is not what I have in mind for Bird and Deal to breathe. Ditto for the water.

Um, has anyone noticed gas prices these days or do you pay at the pump, crumple the receipt, and just take off as if you weren't just ripped off and violated? I cannot bear to watch the little gallon:price ticker count up. I just spent over $60 to fill up my car today. $60! That's at least 3 pairs of shoes at DSW on clearance. I could probably walk farther in those shoes than that tank of gas will take me.

I could go on about the housing crisis, the hungry, reproductive rights, maternity/paternity leave, FMLA, joblessness, gun control, civil rights, alternative energy, foreign policy, or childcare. But I don't have the energy to end my day feeling defeated. I don't sleep well as it is. Wrapping my brain around such gargantuan issues will be a recipe for restlessness. I am tired. I am angry. You might even say I am teetering on bitter. I am garnering the gumption to turn that into something positive. My kids deserve a positive outlook from me. I owe them at least one place in the world that promises hope, unconditional love, dreaming, faith, and whimsy.

Mac Daddy and I are trying to teach our children about respect, humility, gratitude, grace, selflessness, empathy, and responsibility. We can only teach such values through our actions. Words are like the old Far Side cartoons to the ears of preschoolers...Blah Blah Blah, Bird and Deal, Blah Blah Blah. It is our duty as parents to pass on these values, regardless of the red or blue color that marks our sensibilities. How can we possibly teach our children such important values in a country that demonstrates anything but? When will they be old enough to recognize hypocrisy and selfishness? And how will we combat it?

Canada is too damn cold. Europe is too expensive. India is too far. Plus, I kinda like it here and despite my rants, am proud to call it home. And by the way, I don't own a flag pin. I don't think I'd like to have those pesky little holes poke into my silk or linen suits. I cannot bear four more years of a red administration. I am seeing red but I dream in blue.