Friday, May 22, 2009

5:00 Fridays

It's the unofficial beginning of summer, folks! The time of year those of us who grew up in the 80s daydream of Matt Dillon bringing us drinks and turning our chairs towards the sun a la Jeffrey Willis in The Flamingo Kid. Boy could he rock the white pants. Hubba Hubba.

Summer is the heyday for ice cream, though I happen to think ice cream is a seasonless treat. Even all those nipple freezing years in Minnesota didn't keep me from indulging in some Jamocha Almond Fudge or a waffle cone of some heavenly flavor concoction from Grand Ole Creamery.

And so today let's welcome summer, the season of sandals and I'm Not Really a Waitress toes...and 3 1/2 months of my kids out of school. And you wonder what drives me to drink...

Some n' Summer

1/2 cup pulp free orange juice
2 scoops vanilla ice cream
1 shot Frangelico
1 shot Stoli Vanil

Blend everything in a blender. Serve in a tall glass with a fancy straw and an orange wedge stuck into a frilly paper umbrella for garnish.

Orange you glad I'm serving up some shake with those hips?

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Does this sweater make me look fat?

When I picked up Deal from preschool yesterday the first words that popped out of his mouth were, "Mommy, you look like there's a baby in your belly in that sweater!" His eyes were wide and glistening with surprise the way they were when I picked him up from school after I had just lopped off 11 inches of hair.

I shimmied him out of public range and tried to laugh it off, telling him that the sweater was just baggy and of course Mommy has no baby in there. Ahem, ha ha ha. Funny, right? Blush. Groan. Hmmm....

And so I thought we were done with that.

Four hours later at Target. Right after the snooty private school down the road has dismissed for the day. Plaid uniformed tweens and teens linked arm in arm, giggling and gurgling with glee. Stepford Moms to the left of me, jokers to the right, there I was stuck in the middle with Deal.

And in the boys underwear aisle, flanked by the very busy girls underwear aisle, Deal exclaims, "Mommy! You do have a baby in your belly under that sweater! I can see the bump!" Then he proceeded to poke me, as if his little curled fist couldn't resist.

Heads turned and stared right at my stomach. Never in my life have I sucked my stomach in so far. The kid once again took my breath away.

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