On Target

If I were stuck on a deserted island, I would wish for Target. For starters, I don't do nature so I would be in dire need of some shoes, gloves, furniture, and shelter to keep that all nature at a safe distance from me. Because I like things to be clean, I'd need some toothpaste, a toothbrush, Purell, and toilet paper too. And of course I'd need some fashionable clothes and liquid black eye liner and mascara (only Lash Exact will do) so I could look fabulous being rescued. Oh, let's not forget the Chapstick! Does any other store on the planet carry EVERYTHING necessary for human survival under one roof? Don't even get me started on Super Target...

Is it possible to even enter Target without spending at least 100 bucks? Tell me I'm not the only one who virtually throws money away in that store. Ah, but Target is more than a mere store. My haven. My sanctuary. My retreat. Since Target is just the proverbial stone's throw from my sons' school, I am a frequent shopper. It's only Tuesday, and I've already been there twice this week. All those Paco Underhill busy bees out there watching us shop (yes, they are out there in throngs watching you buy granny panties and the like when you think no one is looking) have inserted my photo into the market research Powerpoint presentation to Target executives. Seriously, if you rolled the surveillance tapes, you'd see me more often than the part-time workers who are there just for the discount. Not an entirely bad idea, my husband would say.

I get the stop-wasting-so-much-money-at-Target lectures almost monthly. Damn the itemized American Express statement. You see, he does not share the same affinity for the bull's eye. Apparently Target is the Kirby vacuum of money suckers, not the glorious shopping paradise that it is to me.

Incidentally, both of my boys love Target too. Sometimes for our daily adventure they ask to go there just to savor a vanilla milk while we wander around. Wander around I tell you! Bird and Deal both get on their respectives bikes and ride through the neighborhood saying, "Onward, we're going to Target!" Sometimes we set up the toy cash register and random stuff around the house and play Target. See, so much more than a store. It's an adventure. An escape. A playground. Deal wanted to go everday in December just to see the Christmas stuff. Nevermind the fancy Christmas decorations all over town and in the mall. He wanted to see the stuff simply stacked on shelves and end caps at Target. Hmmm...I wonder if they do kids birthday parties?

By the way, I only spent $36.97 at Target yesterday. A record. A feat. An anomaly.