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Thursday, December 31, 2009

A New Year's Eve Whine

The year was 2003. I was five months pregnant with Bird. We had bought and renovated an 80-something year old house. We were planting roots.

And then I got laid off from my job at an advertising agency. Funny how it's so easy to fire a pregnant woman, yet it's a stretch to hire one. I did get another job, though that agency was toxic, and I left soon after Bird was born. Our once comfortable life was beginning to crack a tish. The year proved to be bittersweet, with the sweet beating out the bitter.

Bird was a lovely, easy baby. He brought us so much joy and completely changed our perspective of the world. You'd never see me without a camera as I snapped every little milestone and cornerstone. I started my marketing consulting business (What, you mean you thought the words on this screen pay my student loans? Not by a long shot.). Baby Deal came soon after, 22 months after Baby Bird.

2004.
2005.

Our lives were complete, if not completely chaotic. We juggled two more house renovations, two jobs, two kids, one breast cancer scare, all on our own without the benefit of family. What could have torn me and Mac Daddy to shreds actually made us stronger. We became our own little hub, knowing it was up to us to protect and nurture this little foursome we call Family. well, we call ourselves The Curried Cheeseheads too as a nod to our mixed Indian and Wisconsonian heritage.

Every year since that fateful layoff in 2003 we have chanted on New Year's Eve, "This is gonna be our year." So far our mantra has failed us.

We haven't caught up to where our lives (and bank accounts) were. We've faced some scary illnesses, bid farewell to friends, battled some demons, lost our beloved pets, and buried a father.

Life's hardships are de rigeur. Our downs are not as low as others', and our ups are grander than most. But, there was so much left unaccomplished this year. So much stress. Too many financial obligations. Not enough time. Too little of everyone and everything to go around. I'm not complaining, though I am admittedly whining a bit.

I'm letting 2009 go with a sigh. A great big exhale.

Then I'll hold my breath for a moment. Count my blessings. Kiss my family. Cuddle my dog.

Inhale.

Welcome 2010. This is gonna be our year.
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7 comments:

Becky said...

At least Fridays always have a 5 o'clock. :) Hugs & happy New Year!

Drew Kime said...

No, it's going to be our year. Wait, can it be your year and our year? Does the universe let that happen? If so, they I hope this is your year. If not, then screw you, it's my turn. :-P

Jen L. said...

Happy New Year to you guys. I hope we get to hang out AT LEAST once next year.

Deirdre Reid said...

2010 will be an exciting year (in a good way) for many of us as we explore new directions and take on new challenges. We all have lots of blessings including a great community here in Raleigh to cheer us on. Grab the gusto and Happy New Year!

Brian McDonald said...

Ilina,

Love this post. Maura and I have the same attitude and situation in terms of it's the two of us in this together. I've always been independent person and want to rely on myself before I depend on others. Thanks for your honesty and sharing with others. Here's a great 2010 and many years to come!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Here's to 2010--a new decade, new beginning, new knowledge and new opportunities.

Al_Pal said...

Happy New Year & Best Wishes!
I love "Curried Cheeseheads", that is darling. Great post.