Monday, January 4, 2010

My Glass is Half Full. Of Ice.

I haven't seen the teens in about 10 years. I was finishing graduate school in Chicago then. That was my teensy skooch back to the East after eight year stints in Minneapolis and Madison. By teens I mean temps, natch. My own teen years were over two decades ago, and that's the tail end of the rotten pubescent, lemming, un self-aware, unconfident, dorky stuff that make one's teen years so memorable, despite how hard we try to forget.

The temperatures here in Raleigh are taking after stock market line graphs of late and taking a steep dive southward. I didn't move here for this. I remember many a winter not even needing a coat in these parts. It was a welcome change from the mummyesque layering I endured waiting for the bus on 44th Street in Minneapolis or the whip of lake wind chilling me inside out in Chicago. I never did acclimate, despite 10 years out there. Things weren't so bad in Madison because we lived in our own little version of Melrose Place so we rarely had to leave home. That, and we often indulged in Wisconsin's most notable export.

In light of all this frigid weather, folks in North Carolina remind me a lot of the good people of Minnesota. All they talk about is the weather. Instead of the usual "Happy New Year" store clerks remark this time of year (I'll give a week more before I start calling people on the importance of message timeliness.), they call out, "Stay warm!" as they bid you farewell. The neighborhood is quiet, eerily peaceful. No kids. No dogs. Um, why does it seem I'm the only one out walking my dog in these tundra temps?

I'm trying to see some silver lining here. Ice is silvery, right? I'm generally a glass-half-full kind of girl. If you find yourself whooping it up and need to be knocked down a few notches, gimme a call. My alter ego is Debbie Downer. I can make you cringe, cry, or croak in a matter of minutes. Mac Daddy is my optimistic counterpart. He sees the good in everything, which is highly annoying and makes me irritable as hell. I sure hope our sons don't inherit this trait and make their future wives ornery. Sometimes a girl just wants to look into her soap spotted empty wine glass and bitch.

It being 2010, a new year and a new decade and all, I've decided to try on Mac Daddy's disposition. I'm afraid it won't suit me at all but I'm going to give the old college try (Wherever does that term come from?! I surely don't want my boys to try half the stuff I tried in college!). Here's my first, if not feeble, attempt to see the glass half full.

Reasons to not hate the cold weather:
  1. No snakes in my yard.
  2. Ignored dog poop freezes and is easier to clean up. Granted, Mac Daddy is the often the one faced with this since I jet back inside as soon as Lark has done his business.
  3. Children chat less when they are cold because the are busy experiencing chattering teeth.
  4. It's perfectly acceptable to have dead leaves, grass, plants and such in one's yard.
  5. Snuggling.
  6. The Snuggie (never mind that I wear Deal's kid sized one that he got for Christmas).
  7. No mosquitoes.
  8. I don't have to shave.
  9. Jeans and sweaters hide more dietary sins than tank tops and shorts.
  10. Boots. Way better than flip flops.
  11. Oysters are in season.
  12. Beer gets cold quickly if you put it in a cooler on the patio.
  13. It's cold and flu season, giving me a fine excuse not to shake hands with people.
  14. Conversation common denominator makes it easy to talk to anyone.
  15. Scarves hide hickeys (I mean, for those trashy girls who get those kissy bruises. Blech.)
  16. Knee socks. (I know Denise at Eat Play Love has my back on this one.)
  17. Hot Buttered Rum, Hot Toddies, , Hot Sake, Hot Cider, Hot Chocolate
  18. Comfort food.
  19. I get wear to that cute chenille hat and scarf set I bought ages ago. Be sure to compliment me profusely if you see me sporting it.
  20. An excuse to chill out (pardon the expression) with a good read or a must-see flick.
So tell me, what makes the snot freezing temps more palatable for you?

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The Mother said...

Living in Houston?

I know, mean shot. It did snow for an hour or two this year. Isn't that enough?

DCUrbanDad said...

I always ya can't make yourself cool, but ya can get yourself warm.

Sugar Jones said...

While it's always good to look at the positive and not dwell on the negative, if there were not negative people around, all of us with our heads in the clouds would float away. I appreciate your not-so-pollyanna way of being. It's very grounding. I'm sure that's why you and your husband complement each other so well.

Not that I want to marry you. ;)

Anonymous said...

Your list is totally fabulous--but did you remember HOT DRINKS? They taste better when it's cold out.

Magpie said...

Last year I bought myself a toasty warm down coat, and I love it again every time I put it on.

Ilina said...

Green Girl, Hot drinks: #17!

No one ever accused my of being a Pollyana, and that ain't changing any time soon. And I'd totally marry you, Sugar. Only in a select few states.

Ooh, down coat! I'd love to have a long one to snuggle up in.

Jen L. said...

I flippin' LOVE knee socks. I also love my flannel pj's and flannel sheets. In fact, just knowing they are upstairs waiting for me often makes me go to bed earlier than usual...and that's never a bad thing!

Cold weather drives my idiot neighbors inside. That? Makes me happy.

Kim Moldofsky said...

The freezing temps also mean fewer cockroaches. My husband often points this out as a major advantage of living in Chicago. Having spent large chunks of time in Hawaii, Texas and Florida, I tend to agree.

And yes, petite women like us need the kid-size snuggies.

Melissa said...

Well I keep getting scarf and hat sets each Christmas so I get to wear them more often with it so frigid. My attempt at feeling somewhat in style when I'm 31 weeks preggers and growing!