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Sunday, April 13, 2008

OM


OM - the Order of Motherhood. No wonder it's also the Hindu symbol of one who protects, sustains.

Sure, motherhood brings it's overwhelming joys, pure love, gaggles of giggles, and immeasurable hugs and kisses.

It's no secret that motherhood also brings 365 days of no thanks, no pay raises (no pay, for that matter), no kudos, no awards ceremonies. Come on, when's the last time you looked your mom in the eye and said thank you? I know I haven't done it lately. Perhaps never. So here you go, Mom, for all the blogosphere to witness: THANK YOU.

There are certain rites of passage that all moms experience. Here are a few of my own:

I knew I was a mom when...

I went out in public to get my oil changed with nipple shields on (under a white T-shirt!).

my son peed on my foot instead of the tree trunk he was supposedly aiming for at the park.

I showed up to a big presentation with gunk that resembled oatmeal or snot on my shoulder.

I spent more money on my sons' spring wardrobes than my own.

I cut up fruit in teeny tiny pieces for fruit salad...that I'm serving to adults.

I was smacked square in the face by my irate 3-year old mid-tantrum...in public.

I could sing along (at the top of my lungs, mind you) to the theme songs of the Wiggles, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Dragon Tales.

I left for a meeting and was halfway there when I realized I grabbed the diaper bag instead of my laptop bag. (I had to stop at Rite Aid on the way to grab a pen and legal pad to appear at least somewhat prepared.)

I could map all public restrooms in every kid friendly venue in town (bonus points for knowing which ones are cleaner than others).

I fireman carried two screaming kids away from the children's museum that they clearly didn't want to leave.

I hung a giant canvas that we all took turns painting as the focal point artwork over our couch. (It's abstract at its finest.)

I was covered in pee, poop, and puke all at one time, and didn't care because I was more worried about what my poor kid was going through in his time of utter misery.

I seriously considered mixing a bloody mary/mimosa/insert drink here at 10:00...AM.


How about you? What rites of passage have you experienced?
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3 comments:

gphd said...

Since I have 2 boys - I know more about cars, trucks, bicycles and motorcycles than I ever dreamed possible. I have been to more monster truck shows than you can count on both hands.

Other rites of passage: the passing (thank goodness) fascination with booger (ICK!)

I have been covered in silly string by both boys.

Visited Marbles/Playspace and spent more time in the water area and pirate area than I could ever imagine. If you are into pirates the children's museum in Wilmington has a great pirate ship, too. With a great air cannon!

While potty training on more than one occassion they would just drop the shorts and pee behind the nearest tree, didn't matter how big it was.

Been to the ER already with P. Hard to imagine we haven't been more often!

Endless questions about nature, each answer leads to more questions!

Look Momma, a worm!

ilinap said...

Ah yes, the indoctrination into all things in the land of boyhood: cars, trucks, bad guys, super heros, dinosaurs. I know an infatuation with bodily functions is on the horizon.

Amy said...

The first time I licked my thumb and wiped the corners of my daughters' mouths ... I knew I was a mom.

The time I "danced" to Hannah Montana in the front seat of the car and couldn't care less what the driver of the neighboring car thought.

The other day when I said "snap" instead of "shit."