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Monday, August 4, 2008

What's Buggin'?

In light of the 136 mosquito bites I got just in the time it took to walk six blocks to Rite Aid and back, I am posting about random things that bug me.

  1. Mosquitoes, natch. I am allergic so the little bites turn into giant welts. Now I look like someone took a switch to my legs. Poor Deal has inherited this frailty from me.
  2. I bet Posh Spice has a kick-ass kitchen. The woman clearly doesn't eat so I imagine she doesn't cook either. In general, one must cook to eat, no? I see a lot of take out cartons in the Beckham household. Somehow I don't think Posh dons an apron and makes homemade cookies, flour flying everywhere, butter dripping on the hardwood floors, mixer thingees being licked. That's what I did with Bird and Deal today. A warming drawer would have helped. So would a Kitchen Aid mixer.
  3. Kids with bad manners is one thing. I have no tolerance for adults with poor manners (granted, they started as kids with bad manners). Guess what Lady in the Stationery Shop, I am not interested in the hives and red splotches on your nasty-ass scaly feet. Do not take off your sandals so I can get a better look. The absolute last thing I want is a closer look. Your feet make Mac Daddy's feet look freshly pedicured by the adorable Vietnamese ladies down the street.
  4. The sound of a cat puking. Must it sound like a waterfall of guts spewing out? I love my Casey, but the nightly throw up is putting unconditional love to the test.
  5. Nature. Why can't it just be brightly hued blossoms sitting pretty, sedating streams trickling, lazy clouds puttering, dolphin-rich waves billowing? I don't need the itchy grass, relentless weeds, creepy crawly critters, bugs whizzing, snakes slithering, rocks underfoot, or dirt of any kind.

So tell me, what's buggin' you?
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4 comments:

Colby said...

For those pesky mosquitos that have harbored in all the grasses, we use gold bond cream. What a miracle that little purse size tube can be. My other nag, people who drive in lots of traffic and they think that by switching lanes constantly will get them ahead of everyone else. I would like what the statistics on that are.

gphd said...

I would have to say the thing that bugs me most is older people who expect anyone younger than them to be kind, courteous and friendly. While they on the other hand seem to have no manners whatsoever. It makes me so mad when one of my boys uses his manners and holds a door for someone and they can't be bothered to say "thank you" or even acknowledge the gesture.

Will said...

Me?...John McCain and the whole rethuglican attack machine that has zero intent on having a thorough, thoughtful debate about our most pressing issues:

-Energy? Nahhhh...let's drill more..or...or have a gas tax holiday...yea..that's it, that's the ticket.

-Economy? Lower taxes for rich people...it'll trickle down.

-Enviroment? Regulations schmegulations.

-International relations? What is this thing you call "diplomacy"? And what's a sunni? Shia...wasn't he in the new Indy movie? Kim Jong Il can suck it.

-Immigration? Just keep those brown people out and NO we don't need to build a wall along the Canadian border.

What a buncha maroons...:--(

DraMa said...

1. People who park crooked. If you can't park it don't drive it.
2. Vanity plates that boast someone's cuteness level. Say something creative. Don't try and tell me your ugly ass is cute.
3. The GIANT black hornets that have nested somewhere underneath my back concrete stoop which cause me to have to walk out my front door and around to the back of the house to let the dog out or take the trash out or to just pretty much leave my house because they have taken over my back door. Jerks.
4. People who email me FORWARDS! I HATE YOU! EVEN FAMILY!
5. Running out of Dr. Pepper.

Maybe I should stop there, or this could get really long.