RNC Highlights from the Peanut Gallery

My whole being is over saturated with politics right now. I am sweating, bleeding, and drooling blue but seeing red. I could not bear to watch the Republican Convention. The two nights Mac Daddy had it on in the background left me unable to sleep with dizzying, paralyzing thoughts of my children's oppressive, right-wing future. Images of a King Kong size Sarah Palin haunted what fitful sleep I managed to capture. All snark aside, I am truly afraid. I am afraid that the constitutional fabric that weaves this country together is unraveling before my eyes and no amount of clear nail polish is going to fix it.

Since I am fed up, scared, frustrated, bitchy, and maybe a tad bit negative, I thought I'd post my friend KC's convention insights instead of my usual crazy liberal woman ranting. KC is more moderate than I am and tends to view the world with less criticism and snarkiness than I do. She is certainly a voice of reason and gives the benefit of the doubt, which is definitely not my nature. So here are excerpts from an email she sent me post-RNC:

"Did you watch the Republican convention last night? I watched some of it, in the interest of fairness. Here are some of my thoughts about Tuesday night's offerings:

It looked like a freakin' Klan rally. I think the only non-white person I saw was John McCain's adopted daughter. Not particularly representative of America. No wonder they're so hot to keep illegal immigrants out - they know the children of those immigrants ain't gonna vote for them! The notion of Internet voting must just make them break out in the screaming meemies.

Nobody cared much what George W had to say. What an embarrassingly lukewarm reception from his party's most rabid supporters!

Fred Thompson reminded me of a used car salesman. Lots of folksy chatter but not much of substance. The only interesting part of his speech was when he described McCain's injuries and torture in vivid detail. On PBS, they cut away to a crowd shot during the most gruesome part of that speech to a group of people who were LAUGHING. Some cameraman having a little fun, I think!

The loudest, most enthusiastic applause was for a Democrat (Joe Lieberman). Although the audience got really quiet when he started talking about the necessity of putting partisan politics aside to accomplish great things.

Republicans can't dance! Sheesh, how hard can it be to bop around to "Johnny B. Goode"? It looked like half the attendees were taking that opportunity for a potty break, they way they were scrambling over each other. The ones who stuck out just kept shouting "Go Johnny Go", even after the refrain was over, through the guitar solo. I think it's the first time half of them ever heard that song. Come on people, this is Chuck Berry. We sent that song up into space on Voyager as a greeting to anybody else who might live out there in the universe! What a contrast
to when they played "Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now" at the Democratic convention - people were swaying back and forth, waving their signs IN TIME WITH THE MUSIC, and just enjoying being with each other. That's the America I can identify with.

I watched again last night to see what Rudy had to say and to watch a little of Sarah Palin. According to Guilliani, we are under attack RIGHT NOW and ALL THE TIME and we need a leader who is going to FIGHT THE BAD GUYS. Then he talked about the economy for about 30 seconds. And he talked so fast and so quietly that I could barely hear what he was saying! It was like at the end of a commercial when the super-fast-talker guy runs over the terms and conditions. And then it was back to FIGHTING THE BAD GUYS, this time by drilling in the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge. You want to know what the crowd started chanting? "Drill, baby, drill". I kid you not.

I watched several minutes of Sarah Palin's speech, but honestly, I had to turn it off. Something about her voice has the effect on me of nails on a chalkboard. Plus I kept watching her hair, trying to figure out what the heck was going on in the back. When I could focus on her speech,
it was mostly tearing down Barack Obama, which I guess is the role the V.P. is supposed to play, but so many of the things she said were untrue that I stopped listening. Oh, she told the following joke - Q. What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? A. Lipstick. Well, I for one don't want a lipstick-wearing pit bull in charge of my country."


I admittedly did not watch much of the 3 days of mockery, sarcasm, and fear fest thanks to KC, I feel like I was there.


And one last thing, even if you have had enough of Sarah Palin, I urge you to still read this and this. You'll be glad you did. Trust me here.