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Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Until I became a Mother...


Until I was a mother, I had no idea that...

feeling a life dance and hiccup inside of me could be so earth shatteringly amazing.

meeting my baby would be so humbling.

the smells of a freshly bathed or happily sweaty child are equally sweeter than any scent on the planet.

holding my child's tiny, warm hand squeezing mine ever so slightly would make me float across the street.

I would ever give up the last scoop of ice cream.

I would want to devour a naked, wrinkled little bum.

sometimes 60 minutes would feel like 3 days and sometimes it would pass like a blink.

a belly button on a pooching out little belly would warrant so many kisses.

fat thighs were so delectably adorable.

innocence and wonder are indeed magical, lost, yet can be regained.

children were so freaking funny.

the sounds of children's laughter cannot be too loud or too frequent.

my child's cries of pain, shame, hurt, and angst make my tear ducts overflow too.

pride could be so powerful.

love could be totally unconditional.

my husband could be so amazing.

my responsibility was so great.

Cheerios could make glue.

Cream cheese does not wash easily out of hair.

kissing toes was such a feast.

cotton could be such a tactile pleasure.

stroking the hair and feeling the rise and fall of breath of a sleeping child was so hypnotic.

snuggling with a stack of childhood favorite books was so satisfying.

being spit upon and shit upon would be no big deal.

I could feel such intense rage and love within the span of a moment.

I. could. be. so. damn. tired.

wearing a suit of baby food drool to a meeting would be a badge of honor.

I could relive my childhood, only better.

I would wake up three times a night just to ensure my kids are sleeping soundly.

wet sloppy kisses would taste so good.

hearing the word "Mama" uttered for the first time would musically moving.

all art would be frame worthy.

part of the job was to let my children grow and go.

family and tradition are powerful.

regular diapers don't work in a pool.

I would be kicked and bruised and thrashed upon, just before being hugged in sorrow and comfort and forgiveness.

my heart could break into so many shards and melt into so many puddles.

I never knew what fulfillment meant.

my mom and dad worked so hard and sacrificed so much.

I would feel grace.

time would hasten its pace.

I could be so unwaveringly content.

I was maternal and giving and loving afterall.


What about you? How did motherhood or fatherhood change your constitution, the fibers of your being? What were your epiphanies?
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7 comments:

DC Urban Dad said...

I could not have said it better myself. I am still learning and experiencing new things each day.

I have never been so content then when I am sitting with my kid in my arms and my wife by my side.

Also never knew that I would desire my wife so much when she was pregnant. Ooops TMI.

colby said...

Wow, the cheerio glue, very fascinating. My epiphany, being able to love something so small and innocent and the amazing things they say and do. Your list was great and hit most of them right on the head. I also give in way to easy.

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

My boys are 12 and 11 and what you realize as they age and grow is how incredibly different they are, how smart they are, how resilient they are- not because of you but in spite of you at times. And how privileged we are that God has graced us with their presence in our lives- parenting is the best!

Shannon said...

Cheerio glue - I live it every day lately, lol. Why the heck does every member of my family love those little things?

I think for me the intense love for another little tiny being was huge, that and the fact that I didn't know the transition of putting others' needs before my own would come so easily and quickly. And I never realized how soon a "fun" Friday night would become snuggling and watching a movie with the kids. And even though that sounds pathetic, I didn't realize I would be OK with being pathetic.

jenboglass said...

Ah...these were so amazing! They made me tear up! I didn't know the diaper thing either. :)

I didn't know that my heart could recognize anyone like it did. Both of my babies are adopted. When they were born, although physically they didn't look like me, my heart immediately ached for each of them and knew that they were mine. I also had no idea that I would know their voice, their laugh, their screams and their cries instinctively. If I'm shopping or out an about, I can hear all the children with their moms out there. Some of them throwing trantrums or having laughing fits. But if I hear my child, no matter how far away, no matter where we are, I know that voice. It makes me stop every time! Thanks for this.

chris said...

Well...we have 5 children and considering another one...We like children.

Parenting is the most important thing I've ever done in my life.

g said...

How beautiful. You hit all the touchstones of parenthood here.