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Thursday, November 20, 2008

On My Mind in Downward Dog


I got my body flowing at the gym this morning. I took some new class called Body Flow that supposedly adds a dash of pilates, a dollop of tai chi, and a whole stinkin' handful of yoga, mixes it all up, and gets your chi centered and your abs shakin'. Only not so much. Like with anything, when you take the best pieces of stuff thinking it's going to make a magnificent new widget, it fails miserably. This was the crazy quilt of gym classes. The indiviual elements are way better than the sum of their parts. I just wasted an hour getting gyped. One hour of time that I'll never get back. You know how much I hate to work out anyway so this was particularly irritating.

So instead of feeling all centered and relaxed and other such stuff that I'm pretty much incapable of achieving anyway, here's a taste of what galloped around my mind while doing sun salutations, warriors 1 - 3, and downward dog:

John, Paul, Ringo,.... Who the heck is the other Beatle? Hmmm, can't even picture him. John, Paul, Ringo, drawing a blank. Must remember to ask Kate.

I have organic beets in the fridge. What shall I do with them? Maybe I'll try making soup. It is soup season. Damn, it's cold.

I need to pay some bills. Must remember to pay bills. Must remember to pay bills.

Whatever happened to my old friend Portia Barnhart? She's not on Facebook. Why the heck aren't people on Facebook?!

It's only been 15 minutes?! Egads.

Where can I find those mitten and boot warmer thingees that you pop and use to stay warm? I need to find some before we march in the Christmas parade on Saturday morning. Too bad it will be too inappropriate and too early to add some bourbon to my coffee to stay warm. Or will it?

I really need a haircut. What am I going to do about this gray hair?

Gary is a funny name. Funny name for a sweet swaddled newborn. Baby Gary. Not working for me. Roxanne too.

Is it going to take us seven hours to drive to DC again this Thanksgiving?

When is this class over?

That's girl's pose looks totally worse than mine. Look at me, rockin' the yoga pose. Ooops, not so much.

I think I don't like yoga because the clothes show every bulge. I would look great in fencing gear.

My friend Nancy fenced in college. She's not on Facebook either.

Grilled cheese for lunch?

I haven't bought new shoes all season.

I went to Target three times this week. I have a feeling we'll go again before the week's over.

Deal's room needs a rug.

How can I be Indian and suck so much at yoga? My people must be ashamed of me, first math and science, now yoga. We invented this stuff, didn't we?

That instructor is so thin she's concave.

I hate that she is saying tushie. What, are we three year olds in here?

Um, what time is it?

Don't let me fall asleep during this vibration meditation thing. This is not my idea of a good time.


So you see, the class was a bust. And I have recipes to find and people to track down on Facebook.
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9 comments:

Threeundertwo said...

So funny. And it was George.

Mary said...

I think Body Flow is a waste of time too! I don't get a bit of a workout!

The Cube Monkey said...

You can prolly find the hand and sock warmers at www.sportsmansguide.com.

And it's never too early to put bourbon in the coffee to stay warm. It's gotta be noon "somewhere"! ha!

The Over-Thinker said...

George was my favorite!!

I hate the word tushie.

Now I'm definitely having grilled cheese for tomorrow's lunch. Good idea.

DC Urban Dad said...

Best line --- "How can I be Indian and suck so much at yoga? My people must be ashamed of me, first math and science, now yoga. We invented this stuff, didn't we?"

Get an ipod, go for a run. Blast some crazy wicked tunes and you will forget about everything.

I cannot do yoga, I am afraid I will fart.

CS said...

Go to REI for the hand warmers, forget the coffee and go straight burbon, want to carpool to DC? :)

C Sierra said...

I love the blogosphere because I come across great posts like this -thanks for the laugh tonight!

The Exception said...

I say go with Bailey's in the coffee... it will warm you up and put a bounce in your walk all at the same time!

(I loved this post - found you from Dads House and am actually in the DC area!! Hopefully your trip won't take 7 hours)

Christina said...

Indeed. "Tushie" is a word Miami housewives use when they're checking out the pool man. (At least in my mind.)