5:00 Fridays

Mac Daddy has a dry wit and thrives on sarcasm. In fact, he doesn't think I'm funny at all since I go for the obvious "that's what she said" kind of joke or stupid pun. I personally think I am hysterical; it pays to be one's own best audience. Plus, my friend Shelly pegged it when she surmised that Mac Daddy has a severe case of funny envy.

He cracks out the humor every time we're at the grocery store in summer. He takes one look at the melon display, and I know some wisecrack is coming. "Nice melons," he remarks. "Firm. I can palm this one." And so on. I offer up the gratuitous laughter. Hardy har har har. It would be funnier if he weren't an ass man. Anyway, the melon joke is one that never gets old. I suppose it's his version of "that's what he said."

Summer is a melon joke teller's stage of glory. A vertitable tata tea party. Melon is an anagram of lemon. Surely there's a joke in there somewhere, right? We've had our share of juicy Sun Jewel melons from Farmer Tom of CSA fame this year. I also recently tried a fantastic summer libation at one of my favorite joints, The Oxford Gastro Pub. If they ever take the fried panko off the menu I'm not coming back.

To celebrate a summer of melon lovin' (no matter how you look at it), I present to you...drumroll, please...

The Melontini

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Pour in a shot of Absolut vodka, a shot of Midori, an ounce of pineapple juice, a splash of sour mix, and a drizzle of triple sec. Shake well. Pour into a martini glass. Garnish with a slice of fancy melon like Santa Claus melon or Sun Jewel.

Just make sure you get a manicure and fun cocktail ring before photographing yourself holding one of these cocktails. And by the way, vorsicht! A couple of these will be real knockers!