Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Halloween, Dirt & Noise Style

I happen to be a big fan of Halloween. I love eating candy, dressing up in costume, being spooked, eating candy, dancing to the Monster Mash, snacking on candy corn mixed with dry roasted peanuts (a deliriously divine treat that my friend @turnaroundart turned me onto!), carving pumpkins, eating candy.

I also happen to look good in orange so I embrace any chance I get to sport it. If I keep on eating candy I just might look like a pumpkin myself one of these days. That'll save me money on my costume I suppose.

The boys of course love Halloween for all the same reasons I do. Mac Daddy hates Halloween for all the same reasons. He detests dressing up, could care less about spooky movies (He flat out laughed at Blair Witch Project whilst I peed in my pants.), hates candy corn, thinks dancing to Monster Mash is dorky, and is painfully uncreative when it comes to carving a jack-o-lantern. Meanwhile I buy pumpkins at every turn and even planted a kitschy scarecrow in our yard. Our table is bedecked with sparkly black and orange place mats, candy corn shaped candles, and plastic spiders. I listen to the Monster Mash station on Pandora and read Halloween stories in creepy voices with much ballyhoo.

I sounded every single one of my 41 years when I proclaimed to the boys that we'd be making our own costumes this year. Their mouths hung agape. And Mac Daddy laughed. Then these preachy words came out of my matronly mouth: "When I was a kid no one bought costumes. We used our imaginations and creativity to make stuff up. We were green without even realizing it. No one wasted money on costumes, even if that meant dressing up as a hobo or the unknown comic every single year of grade school." I must have spoken with authority because no one questioned me...though they clearly questioned my sanity. And for the record, I am the least crafty person I know. Luckily the boys are too young to know how ridiculous they might look, and by the time they figure it out, they will hate me for many more reasons (like the bowl haircut Bird seems to sport in every school picture).

I do hate all the high fructose corn syrup that cannot be avoided without paying an arm and a leg for carob bars or other such crap that the children would toss out with the razor bladed apples and arsenic laced popcorn balls. I wish there were some viable alternatives (stupid tombstone shaped erasers and skull emblazoned super bouncy balls aside). I suppose next year I could serve the fair trade natural stuff and rig up a fake gory arm and leg with a sign stating "I paid an arm and a leg for this candy."

Or I might just put up a sign that says "I paid an arm and a leg for healthcare. Can't afford candy."

In the mean time, I'll be dressed up as Rizzo and trawling the hood for candy. Bird will be a ninja warrior, and Deal will be his own super hero known as Super Deal. Mac Daddy will be dressed up as a corporate cube dweller who works for Da Man.

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Drew @ Cook Like Your Grandmother said...

I don't like HFCS either, but how does that mean carob instead of chocolate? Good chocolate doesn't have any HFCS, and that's way better than carob. Am I missing something?

Ree said...

Mac Daddy and I are going to have the same costume!

Ilina said...

Drew, I was talking about the bagged candy to hand out as treats. The HFCS stuff is the only *affordable* option. I'll save the good stuff for myself (like the duty free Swiss and German goodies my parents bring home from their travels!).

Ree, I have a hunch you're not alone in that costume!

Jen L. said...

Our neighbor has a mooning scarecrow, but his is holding a chainsaw. ;)
Dean will be sporting his Batman pj's (hey, they've got a CAPE!) and I am wearing a red and white sweater, jeans and a hat and some fake glasses and going as Where's Waldo. Marcus, like Mac Daddy, will be judging us from the sidelines.

Cheryl said...

Speaking of different times ... when my son was small, I dressed one year as a hobo but, when asked, said that I was a bum. He had no idea what that was! Neither did any of his friends.

Anonymous said...

Handmade is okay...no PVC risks either!