An Omnivore by Any Other Name

I love food. I love to shop for it, grow it, cook it, eat it, serve it. I read cookbooks like they're novels, yet I never follow a recipe. The Food Network is like porn (when Giada's on, Mac Daddy would agree.). I joke that on my deathbed if I am allowed one fantastic last meal or one last orgasmic romp in the hay, I'd take the food. For one thing, the meal would last longer. No disrespect to Mac Dady here, but you're all with me on this, right? Right?

My boys eat everything without even realizing they are being adventurous. We had chicken cordon bleu (with swiss cheese and proscuitto...panko makes all the difference here too), carrot souffle, and an avocado salad for dinner the other night. These kids eat like kings, I tell you. They have already developed an affinity for tasty delights such as manchego, sushi (and we all love the eel, City Mama!), cannolis, roasted eggplant, and dal. They abhor typical kids menu fare such as dinosaur shaped nuggets (the authenticity of the chicken is debatable), canned fruit cocktail, and fried macaroni and cheese (WTF?!).

We are lucky to have a picky eaters in the family. Bird does not like potatoes at all, and Deal has trouble with the stringyness of snap peas. Mac Daddy won't touch apple sauce, and I won't eat liver, lima beans, cherries, raisins, or black licorice. I guess on paper I am the pickiest one of all. Mac Daddy even ate pig brain on a trip to Vietnam. No worse than what's in those nuggets.

Now here's a fun meme from City Mama.

Here’s what I want you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten. (In my case, everything I've tried is in purple.)
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating. I can't figure out how to cross out so I made the font extra small.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at Very Good Taste linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos Rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho 13.PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras (Never again.)
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi (My grown up lassi is here.)
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O (Last week's 5:00 Fridays post)
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut (A major benefit of living in Krisy Kreme's home state!)
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear (Does the jam count?)
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (My favorite is with Hendrick's gin.)
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S'mores 62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst (One the best things about eating in Berlin!)
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill (That's what I think is in those chicken nuggets.)
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini (Wrote about that too.)
81. Tom Yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
2. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox (What my kids had for dinner last night as a matter of fact!)
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

5:00 Fridays

I'm Indian. 100%. I look it, but I'm terrible at math and science, and I speak with a discernible Southern drawl after testing a handful of 5:00 Fridays concoctions. Today's cocktail is a nod to my heritage and a grown up version of my favorite Indian treat that my sons now clamor for.

Mango Lassi for Lads and Lasses

You'll need a tall glass. Grab the tallest one you got, folks. Add some ice just for clinking effect.

You're gonna need a straw. Grab a few extra from McDonald's if you can. They have the best straws. Trust me here. They really do. Nice wide openings to make the drink burst through and wake up even the laziest of taste buds.

Now get your blender out from the cabinet above the fridge. Yeah, I'll wait while you move the salad spinner and rice cooker out of the way. Now by all means, rinse the dust out of that puppy.

To your newly clean blender add four, yes four, ice cubes, a shot of vanilla vodka, a shot of amaretto, a cup of mango juice (Trader Joe's has a great variety), and a tablespoon of plain yogurt. Whiz away until it's smoothie consistency.

Pour over ice into your tall glass. Don't forget every cocktail's necessary accessory! Garnish with a skewer of fresh mango chunks. For a real Indian touch, a simple sprig of cilantro would look lovely.

And because this looks like a smoothie, I just might be sipping one right now and you wouldn't even know it. Hee hee hee...

Cheers!

A Time Saving Tip

We are all busier than a hive of predatory queen bees bucking for, well, Queen Bee, these days. With all the Facebooking, Twittering, Stumbling Upon, Kirtsying, and blogging we do, there are simply no seconds to spare or waste time on the inane. That is precisely why I don't watch Regis & Kelly or bother to shave when it's not date night. In light of our buzzing lives and all that beckons, I'd like to share a time saving tip.

Do not read this book.
Put it back on the shelf. Dig up the receipt and return it for The Other Boleyn Girl. Hell, read Elle Decor instead. Reading a whole box of fortune cookies would be more interesting (especially if you add "in bed" to the end of each fortune).

I have read some crappy stuff in my day, but this one takes the reine de saba cake.

I was so excited to get my hands on this book and finally have a free spot between book club books to read it. I didn't get past page 51. And let me tell you, I never ever leave a book dangling in mid air before I've finished it. Life is too short to read shitty literature.

I love to cook. I love to read. I love to write. All the necessary ingredients to make Julie & Julia a time honored favorite of mine, right? I envisioned reaching for its tattered pages over and over again through the years. Nah. Not gonna happen. The writing is unimpressive, and I am surprised some editor or agent didn't get fired over its publishing. The author's voice is unauthentic, and the attempt at comedic banter is uncomfortable and unnatural. But mostly what irked me is that I've been duped.

Here I thought I was going to dig into a verbal feast a la Like Water for Chocolate. Not even close to being Like Water for Chick Lit. Food played a tertiary role in the book, not capturing the lime light as I had anticipated (and naturally expected based on the title and premise). The author spent more time complaining or waxing about random adolescent memories that were not salient to the premise. I feel like she secured a book deal, spent the advance, and went to town writing a free flow piece all in one sitting, deadline ticking feverishly away. I bet she even turned it in bleary-eyed with cramped fingers and carpal tunnel about to blast through her wrists. This book is not an example of stellar writing, folks.

If Julie Powell can land a book deal and have a mastermind PR team behind her, surely Dirt & Noise can. In the mean time, I'll devote my time to not wasting yours.

5:00 Fridays

The matriarch at Chez Dirt & Noise would like to introduce a new weekly post: 5:00 Fridays!

I don't know about you, but a refreshing cocktail at the end of a long week is just the ticket to paradise I need. Even when I worked full-time (in an office, as opposed to the more-than-full-time activities of being a mom), I loved Friday happy hours with my coworkers. We toasted some positively deadly Long Island Iced Teas and fruity concoctions served in fish bowls with multiple straws. Those happy hours inevitably turned into some rug cuttin' long nights...and even even longer hangovers.

Happy hour is much tamer these days. There's no room for hangovers in our lives anymore, but that doesn't mean we can't sip a tasty treat time to time.

Without further ado, drum roll, please.....

Introducing what we like to call our family's signature drink: the Moscow Mule.

It's traditionally served in a copper cup, but unless you live in Colonial Williamsburg, I'm guessing you didn't get a set from your wedding registry. Nonetheless, we just use a highball glass here. Trust me, it's just as tasty.

2 ounces vodka (not the cheap stuff you drank in college, pony up for Absolut at the least)
1 ounce freshly-squeezed lime juice (and NEVER Rose's! Only the fresh stuff, this is key.)
4 ounces good, spicy ginger ale (like Blenheim's) or ginger beer (NEVER EVER substitute ginger ale. That would make a crummy, wimpy Moscow Mule.)

Add ice and the ingredients in the specified order. Stir and garnish with a lime wedge.

Mmmmm....it's only 8:00 AM, but my taste buds are dancing a jig just thinking about 5:00. It's going to be 100 degrees here today so an icy, spicy, limey cocktail will be just what the mixologist ordered.

So what about you? What are your favorite summer cocktails? If you send me the recipe, I just might test it out and post it next week.

Cheers!


PS
The fine minds at Momocrats have concocted a drink in honor of all the Obama Mamas out there. Add it to your happy hour round. Check it out here.